Well, as they say in something, the gauntlet has been thrown. Rissa interrupted my busy laying around and napping schedule this Labor Day weekend to pose a very important question about the future of the human race, for which I have a very important answer. After seconds-upon-seconds of thought about which member of the Ghost Hunters team I would repopulate the world with after a freak toothpaste factory accident poisoned the rest of the human race, I have made my choice.
There were many great choices (there were no great choices), but let's start with those who I did NOT choose. I have managed to find YouTube tribute videos for all of those individuals that I will not be boning because apparently there are some ladies out there who do want to bone them.
First, I will not repopulate the human race with Brian Harnois.
There were many great choices (there were no great choices), but let's start with those who I did NOT choose. I have managed to find YouTube tribute videos for all of those individuals that I will not be boning because apparently there are some ladies out there who do want to bone them.
First, I will not repopulate the human race with Brian Harnois.
Brian has been fired from and/or quit TAPS like 1,000 times. The world does not need this kind of inconsistency when it is trying to repopulate itself. Plus, gross.
I will also not be saving the human race with Steve Gonsalves.
I will also not be saving the human race with Steve Gonsalves.
Steve has many tattoos, yes, but I'm guessing that he has many STDs to go along with those tattoos. Plus, he always seems like he's one argument about ghost camera positions away from a domestic violence charge.
Sorry Dustin Pari, but I will not be having sex with you either.
Dustin's backwards-visor-sporting obsession is so cool (it is terrible), but I do not want this to be the fashion statement that the future humans embrace first.
Lastly, I will not be creating future world children with Andy Andrews.
I'm pretty sure Andy weighs about 90 pounds less than I do. So, no, I will not be breeding with him. Also, he looks less like a human being than the other options.
First runner-up is Jason Hawes. Jason is the founder of TAPS, and I do LOVE POWER, so he seems like a good choice, but I want the future human race to have full heads of hair and he is lacking in the head hair department.
That means the winner is Grant Wilson, the co-founder of TAPS (and TAPS webmaster, hawt). Congratulations, Grant! I would choose you to repopulate the world with. You could say "What the frig?!" to me as often as you'd like and together we would rid the world of those psychics (who are already dead) and laugh at people who believe in orbs (they are dead, and orbs are so obviously dust).
So, in conclusion:
+
=
FUTURE OF HUMAN RACE
Posts
1 comment:
Good answer. Challenge well met. As a side note, I think that tribute videos of barely famous people on youtube should become our running "joke theme," like trampoline accidents to VideoGum.
Post a Comment